HOW FEAR HOLDS US BACK: A CASUAL CHAT WITH ETTIE (& CO.)

You know what yours is. It may be that little pesky task that makes you really uncomfortable, or perhaps it’s such a beast that it paralyzes you. Or maybe something in between. Maybe you have good reason to be fearful, but maybe you’re being irrational. But one thing’s for sure. That fear is holding you back from your true potential. This week I have a GREAT casual chat with a fellow business owner, Eteannette Seymour of Ettie & Co. (remember Ettie from the Refresh Your Home for Spring SCOOP episode?). We both share how fear holds us back from reaching our goals, and what we plan to do about it.

The funny part is this: As you can see, my visual side of the video is a bit more choppy than Ettie’s (but an awesome chat nonetheless!) I grappled with this, and knew the re-filming during such a busy week (unexpected events and visitors) would be a challenge. But considering the nature of this fear that I share, I am practicing what I preach. I am releasing something to the universe that is imperfect, unedited, yet that I know will resonate with others.

Click here to watch our GREAT chat, with time stamps and show notes below the video.

  • Intro to Ettie: Why She’s Perfect for this Chat | 0:01-1:19
  • Ally’s Fear and Why I’m Scared of People | 1:20-3:20
  • How It’s Holding Me Back | 3:21-5:11
  • My Commitment to Overcome It | 5:12-6:24
  • Ettie’s Fear and Why | 6:25-8:00
  • What She’s Doing About It | 8:01-10:20

WHAT I’M SO SCARED OF (AND WHY)

We kick off the conversation with me sharing what makes me so nervous. And that is, the fear of going live on video. This probably comes as a surprise since you may think it’s all I do. But it’s NOT. Almost 100% of the videos that I’ve shared over the last year(s) have been highly edited. It really is a different beast. When I say “live”, I mean turning on IG or facebook live, and going for it. Or EVEN sharing that first IG story that I recorded without re-doing it. One interesting fact: I’m even less fearful of standing up on stage in front of hundreds than I am of speaking live digitally. How is this possible, you ask?

Well a couple reasons: One, less impactful reason. I do feel that with so much Instagram “fake” perfection, I am not presentable enough in the moment. Either my hair, makeup, inappropriate background, etc. This is a minor one, but one that I REFUSE to let limit me. The second reason, and one that truly makes me fearful, is my fear of others. You see, I’m NOT very quick on my feet, and often stumble upon my words. A.K.A. foot in mouth syndrome. I am TERRIFIED that if I stumble on my words and something comes out wrong, that someone may use this against me. Like extract it, take it out of context, share it with the world wide web, and intentionally (or unintentionally) ruin me. These last several years, I have witnessed plenty of miserable people (and even in our sweet local community) who shared some pretty rotten things in an attempt to bring down another. And considering the fact that the mental state of the world after these last years continues to plummet, I think this fear is only becoming more warranted.

MY PLANS TO OVERCOME IT

Every digital marketing expert in 2021 tells you that imperfect and genuine is what creates connection on social media. Yet this fear continues to hold me back. First of all, it is a major time sucker. And time is GOLD these days. Instead of re-doing that causal, social video 5 times (and sometimes never sharing it at all), I plan to release more less-than-perfect video and bring more genuine ME to my social feeds. I also know that PRACTICE MAKES PROGRESS. I’d never dare to say perfect. But I do know with confidence, that the more I go live, the better I will get. With Ettie as my accountability partner, I plan on sharing one live video per week until I get over this. So there. I will not let this hold me back anymore.

ETTIE’S FEAR AND WHY

Ettie kicks off her part of our chat with a term that you may or may not know: “Imposter Syndrome”. A.K.A. fear that you’re simply not good enough. She shares that her fear is rooted in the fact that she’s not formally trained, but self-taught in interior design, and this can often bring her down a hole of self-doubt. To counteract these fears, she often thinks about some of the incredibly successful entrepreneurs and/or designers who were also self-taught, that she respects greatly. This reminds her that no degree or certification can take the place of hard work and resilience when creating entrepreneurial success.

Ettie shares such wise words that I hope many people find as inspiring as I did :

“By leaning into OUR discomfort, we can inspire others to do the same things. I want people to think… If she can do it, I can do it too. The more we can remove boundaries, the more we’ll produce creativity and beauty, and the more we can lean on each other.”

Now you can see why I just adore my chats with Ettie, and why it won’t be the last time you see her here on the blog!

Now it’s your turn. What’s holding YOU back? More importantly, what do you plan to do about it? Comment below or on social… or even send me a message! I’d love to know, and root you on.

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